Week 50, July 10, 2017

Hard Lessons Howdy Y'all! So this week was kinda hard. All our lessons cancelled and so we were not able to meet with anyone. But instead we saw a miracle. Yesterday at 8 I wanted to go home. I had a headache I was tired and had been in meetings most of the day. So when we realized we had not done companionship study I thought "awesome! we can go home at 8 do companionship study and I will get to bed early." But luckily I have an awesome companion. Elder Lunt didn't tell me what to do but instead was rather incessant that there was a better use of our time. So finally at 8:15 I gave in and we headed out. We decided to take a walk and talk to everyone we met. At about 8:50 we had not talked to anyone and I was about ready to call it a day. But on the way home we met a man named Josh. We began talking to Josh and telling him a bit about what we believe. He used to be baptist but has since became atheist. Not that he had a problem with God but that he found some things in the bible hard to accept and other things he saw in religious beliefs bothered him. But as we continued talking for almost every question he had, the gospel had an answer. It was amazing. The best part is we will be going back on Wednesday to teach him. So that was our miracle. Now onto my hard learned lessons. First topic I want to speak of is empathy. Not sympathy, but empathy. I know they are often used interchangeably but there is a large difference. Sympathy means we can see why someone did something in an objective way and then we feel bad for them. Empathy means we know how they feel and we understand them. Not to mean that we necessarily had the same experience they did but that we had a close enough experience that we know how they feel. I have found that empathy is a hard thing to earn. It is never easy. This week I gained a little empathy. For as long as I have been a missionary and even most of my time as a member of this church I have never fully understood why some people would choose to abandon everything they know and love just because someone did something that offended them. Often times they get offended by a leader that said something that upset them or something they disagreed with. I have never understood how they could allow such a "petty" thing to drive them from something they know to be true. Then I learned what it feels like. And suddenly I had a very clear understanding of how that could happen. I will try to avoid specifics but I had an experience with a person who is a leader in my life. That person asked me if I was being exactly obedient. I was not so I chose to be honest and said as such. I felt like I was following all the major rules and that my infringements were relatively minor. I mean I have not broken any commandments and still felt worthy to hold the priesthood or enter the temple. So when this leader became rather upset I was confused. It was further compounded by basically being told that despite my desire to change and my honesty, they felt that I was not in fact even trying to follow the rules. They then told me that I would have to change, and quickly, or this could become a pattern that would lead to a "tough life". They hinted that I might end up in a very bad position such as divorce, unemployment, and homelessness. To be honest I wasn't just offended. I was much much more than just that. I was totally furious. I was about ready to tell this leader to stick it where the sun don't shine and that I would be going home. Luckily that is not what I decided to do. Instead I tried my best to remain calm and at least try to think this over. And the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I had two choices. I could continue to be angry and let this anger drive me away from the church and the Gospel I love. Or I could take it as it was. A single person who made a choice that I did not like. I realized that I could not base my decisions, especially decisions about my salvation, on the decisions of others. And then as I realized that and started to look at things in a more objective light I realized that this leader was trying their best. They wanted the best for me and while their methods were not my favorite I could accept that and move on. I could instead decide to do what is right despite their choices. Now unfortunately that was not the easy choice. The easy choice would be to remain angry and upset. To let the other persons choice dictate my actions. To simply be mad for the rest of my life. And so that is how many people react. And that is not to say they are bad people or that I am better than them, but instead I am saying I finally understand them and want to try even harder to help them come back to the gospel and learn how the Atonement of Jesus Christ can help them forgive and forget and move on. I think that is enough about that for now. If anyone has any questions or comments please email them to me individually. The second topic is Faith and Obedience. Sometimes it is hard to be obedient. Especially on a mission. There are so many rules and it seems like most of them are simply there to make life boring and hard. A lot of them are easy to disobey and nobody would be the wiser. It is easy to justify and think that since it is just a rule that it wouldn't matter if you didn't obey. This is true in life too. There are times it would be much simpler to just break the small rules. To bend them or try and find a loophole. And trust me I am a big fan of loopholes. But truthfully there is only one person who wants you to break the rules. Satan. The father of all lies. He tells you that one little itsy bitsy rule doesn't matter. That it won't effect you. And often times he makes it look very attractive. Especially in the little things. This is a lie. The little things matter. Not because your salvation hinges on whether or not you got out of bed at 6:30 or 6:31. But because when we let Satan's little lies work on us then we lose something much more valuable than five extra minutes of sleep. We lose the Spirit. At that point we can no longer expect blessings from our Heavenly Father. Of course he will continue to bless us because He loves us but He cannot bless us for being obedient. And the Spirit will not be there. Trust me, as a missionary, and as a normal person, I cannot afford to not have the Spirit with me. I cannot! So that is why we NEED to be obedient. The other thing I have learned is that obedience is how we show our Heavenly Father that we have Faith in him and that we want to do what He asks us to. This week I have been studying faith, and the more I read the more I realize that the word that is most often associated with being Faithful is Diligence. Specifically diligence in keeping the commandments of the Lord. For missionaries this means also following the white handbook. Remember the white handbook (the rulebook for missionaries) was written by a Prophet of God. In order for us to truly show God we have faith in him we must follow those rules, especially when we don't understand the reason behind them. I think that is all for this week. I want you all to know I love you and that I hope that you know that I have a testimony that this is the true church of Christ. That it is not led by men but by Christ. He is my Savior. It is only by Faith on him that we are saved. It is by my works that I testify to him that I truly have faith in him. I hope you all enjoy the blessings that come from the Gospel of Jesus Christ. And if you are not a member and want these blessings in your own life I suggest you find the missionaries. They will happily answer any questions you have. And I promise that the things they teach you can only bless your lives. But please do not simply take my word for it. Ask your Father in Heaven. He is the source of all truth and will send his spirit to testify of the truth of these things. I have seen this time and time again in my life. I love you all so much. Have a great week! Love Elder Nathan Lindh Dinner with the VanWagoners